So many of my smiles began with you – NaPoWriMo 2016 Day 23

So many of my smiles began with you

A Sonnet

So many of my smiles, began with you.
A glance, a word, a coffee break with you
Made my life happy for a day. And Yet
When you are not there I started to fret
And I would start vigil for the next day.
Hoping for a change, Awaiting each day,
Against all hope, for you to speak to me
Yet Alas! for the day you spoke to me
Life turned around and flipped upside down
For all the best and all the worst, I mourn
Could not happen at once you see.

I realized then, for that smile you see
was not for me, it was for my neighbour .

With a bitter smile, I agreed for the favour
Why Yes! of course, I am glad to help.

 

NaPoWriMo

NaPoWriMo 2016 Day 23

The prompt is

Today, I challenge you to write a sonnet. Traditionally, sonnets are 14-line poems, with ten syllables per line, written in iambs (i.e., with a meter in which an unstressed syllable is followed by one stressed syllable, and so on).

This is my first attempt at anything even resembling a sonnet. I was unable to stop at 14 lines though, tried a lot to remove a line. But it had developed a mind of its own by that time and I was quite helpless. 🙂

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4 Responses

  1. erbiage says:

    Oo yes, mtw has good comment. Vin, I think there is a great idea in here. May I suggest : cut loose from the sonnet form attempt and try to get to the core idea here. Forget about rhyme, line length etc and just feel it. Then, revisit the attempt t get it into a sonnet form. It’s like a sculptor first needs a block of marble, then chips away at it.

    • Vin says:

      Thanks. I am not used to following any specific method for writing poetry. I just write whatever I feel. So with this I was forcing my lines into a prison.

      I will write it out again like you said. And after researching more about sonnets I’ll attempt this again.

  2. mtw says:

    it’s funny how a poem can develop a life of its own and demand to be written in a way you weren’t expecting. but i think that’s one of the best parts about writing – more often than not, the journey offers more than the destination.

    • Vin says:

      So true, the journey as well as where it leads me… It really shocks me sometimes as to what my mind wanted to write since I never would have thought of it before..

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