Do you make your own decisions?


Decisions.. We make decisions every day.  What should I wear today? Tea or Coffee? Should I bunk class or not? The list is endless.

And yet for all the decisions we make, do we really make them ourselves? or do we listen to what others suggest us to do?

I have friends who won’t listen to a word of what others say, good or bad but stick to their own decision. I also have friends who are influenced by whatever is said by just about anyone they meet.

Both are two extremes. People who don’t accept others suggestions at all will get into trouble at some point or the other. Sticking to one’s own opinion, believing that what one does is the best way, is really not a good way to go about. You’ll tend to lose so much advice and opinions out there.

Meanwhile, if you let every single person you meet influence your life, well that is not good either. Just imagine, you are irritated at one of your friends. Then another friend comes by, noticing the rift they start to brainwash you about the so-called awful things your first friend had supposedly (or not) done. Well, the small irritation you had initially is going to get worse, much worse.

Now you may be thinking, I am not like that. I fall someplace in between those extremes. But you really ought to think. Because sometimes, we subconsciously let people influence our decision a lot. So just take some time and think. Are you letting a specific person(s) in your life take all your decisions? or do they influence you more than you think they should?

People belong to 2 categories

In my opinion, people fall into two main categories. One that genuinely thinks that they want to help you. These people will give you advice and help you out whenever possible. The other type is just jealous of what you do. They will give you all wrong ideas and try to pull you down. The rest of the people will fall somewhere in between these two categories.

So it is up to you to decide, how much of their inputs you should include in your life. And while you are reading this, just take some moment to think.

Which category do you fall under? or is it somewhere in between? Because you ought to remember there are others who are going through the same situation as you. Your opinions may have a huge impact on them. So do think, what will you do if your roles were reversed?

Don’t lose yourself to the whims of society

Matchstick watchers

Sometimes the place we live in and the people around us can really influence our decisions. Don’t lose your self-worth to the desires of society. What feels wrong in your town may be what is right in another one.

It’s the people who make the rules. Every single established rule and tradition come from people’s opinionated belief on certain things. Consider this post, it is just my opinion. It depends on you whether you want to agree with it or not.

But don’t go and do something illegal though! Some of those rules are there for a reason. I can’t really go about hitting the people who irritate me now, can I? That would really cause me problems, and it won’t make me popular either.

Find an optimum spot for yourself!

I am not saying you should not let others tell you what you should do. But their opinions matter too. They might have gone through a similar situation and they may be trying to help you avoid the tight spots in life. You are not perfect at everything, there is a chance that you might make mistakes. So always take their suggestions with a pinch of salt. Think if what they say makes sense or if it pertains to you.

Get all opinions, but think it through.

  • Will it be applicable to you?
  • Will it help you or just hinder you?
  • Do a lot of people have the same opinion?
  • Are you listening to them, just because that’s what everyone else does?

After all, this helps you make your decision. [Don’t let others decide everything for you]

How my decision affected my life.

Take me for example, I wanted to get an Engineering degree in Aerospace, and I did. When I told this to people, the replies I got were like this,

  • But you are a girl, How can you take Aerospace? [Really? is that even a reason?]
  • You won’t get many jobs, then where will you be? [I am willing to take a risk, Thank you very much]
  • Wow! that is so different, I wish I could do something like that. [Why don’t you?]

I didn’t care much at that time. I just wanted to learn more about the field and I did. But afterwards, where am I now? Not in the Aerospace field, but in Software Testing. Because apparently some of the people who talked to me were right. I couldn’t find a core job (not yet anyway, still trying).

Does my situation imply, that I should simply listen to those countless people out there giving opinions left and right?

Does it make what I did wrong? Should I have not pursued my interest?

Well, Yes and No [In typical Dumbledore fashion!]

I think, it is a matter of what you think and what you believe. If you regret what you have done, then yes it is wrong. If there is no regret it’s fine too. Anyway, what is done is done and there is no use thinking about it. And in my case, I don’t have any regret about my lost Aerospace prospects. If I hadn’t made my decision that day, I will always sit here and think ‘what ifs’ .

So don’t ever regret it. What you have is precious to you. Don’t let people crumple your dreams, for only you can do that.

I believe that there is always a chance to change. If not today, then tomorrow (my motto).

To conclude

  • Take opinions from others
  • Think a lot
  • Think even more

Then you should decide for yourself. The so-called others will come today and leave tomorrow. In the end, you will be the one who has to live with whatever decisions you made.

And Qmarkthat’s what I think!

What do you think?
Do you make your own decisions?
Or are you letting others influence it more than necessary?

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